I’m Back!

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Hey all!  Been trying to get back on here and start up writing and journaling again.  As some of you who know me personally, it’s been one hell of a time since the end of February! A little background here – at the beginning of February, everything was going along fine.  I attended a beautiful Imbolc ritual sponsored by the Church of the Spiral Tree (CST) with my Kindred out on the land in Roxanna, AL.  It was a ritual having us to look back upon where we’d been, where we’d like to be, and what would be needed to be done in order to achieve those goals.  I thought I had everything planned out –  a healthy pregnancy, picture perfect delivery, managing my time, and starting back going to school in the Fall.  I was going to do everything “right” this time around; to do and have things that I had wanted to have and have done during my previous 2 pregnancies that I had wished for.  I was busy planning, shopping and “nesting”, interviewing doulas, setting up birthing altar…I was so proud of myself!  I was making things happen and even standing up for myself and fulfilling my needs against what my husband thought was “best for me” (which is very hard being codependent and married to someone who I believe has a Narcissistic Personality Disorder).  But, I guess the Universe had other plans for me…

Later that month, on February 28, I went to Labor & Delivery at my hospital because I had felt decreased fetal movements the previous night and none that I could feel that morning.  After being monitored all day, a decision was made that evening to deliver my baby at 31 weeks via emergency Caesarean section and was immediately transferred to the NICU at another hospital.  The whole experience brought me to Hel and back if you will – the hardest and most difficult Descent that I’ve ever had to go through in my life, bringing me to where I am today; so please be patient and bear with me… 🙂